I Went Solo to Heal – Here’s What I Discovered

I boarded my flight to Spain alone, carrying more than my suitcase. Brain surgery and a cancer scare had fractured my sense of control, shattered my identity and challenged my definition of how to live my life.

I didn’t travel to escape; I traveled to learn who I was beyond being a survivor. Barcelona offered a space to cultivate myself: a place where I could “become” with no preconceptions.

For women like me who’ve navigated life-altering hardship, travel serves as a platform for rebuilding, redefining, and reclaiming self. Here are the lessons I learned in that process.

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When Fear Comes, Remember You Are the Light

Fear didn’t roar—it whispered,

Settle, just so you’re not alone.

I almost listened.

In my first weeks abroad, I said yes to people who didn’t match my energy, just to feel part of the story. But when I chose myself, everything shifted. When my best friend from home eventually visited, she didn’t walk into a highlight reel—I showed her a world that felt like me.

We even stumbled upon two strangers who mirrored our spirit in line for a horror museum and sprinted through the dark, screaming, laughing, alive. That night reminded me: light always finds light.

Courage means trusting that version of you attracts what’s meant for you—even in the dark.

It Didn’t Go as Planned—And That Was the Point

Growth doesn’t come from ease—it comes from unraveling.

In my first week abroad, I got bronchitis. I had chased the “perfect” experience, hoping it would feel magical from day one. Instead, I crashed. Slowing down forced me inward. Before I built real friendships, I had to become someone I wanted to come home to. I stopped chasing connection and started protecting my energy.

Boundaries didn’t limit me—they saved me.

Discomfort revealed what needed to shift. And once I tended to myself, the right people—and the real magic—found their way in.

You’re Allowed to Outgrow Yourself

Living in places where I felt known brought comfort—but also limits. Over time, I realized I had shaped myself around others’ expectations. Spain gave me space to rewrite that. Without familiar eyes watching, I stopped preserving old versions of me. I softened, reshaped, expanded.

One afternoon, staring up at La Sagrada Familia, I saw myself in its unfinished towers. The scaffolding didn’t signal something broken. It reminded me: evolution

is

the masterpiece.

We don’t need to arrive fully formed—we just need to stay open to becoming.

Stop Searching, Start Becoming

We search endlessly—for success, validation, meaning. But what if we stopped chasing and trusted we already hold what we seek? In Spain, I stopped running long enough to realize I wasn’t lost. I was simply becoming. Transformation didn’t arrive in a single breakthrough. It revealed itself in small shifts—in stillness, in presence, in choosing to belong to myself again.

Sometimes the real magic doesn’t come from where you go, but how deeply you meet yourself when you get there.

Find Your Window

My favorite café near school became a second home. My girlfriends and I would lose track of time there—laughing too loudly, sharing too much, and listening without judgment. One afternoon, my friend said, “It’s like we’re behind a one-way mirror. We see out, but no one sees in.” Despite our deepest confessions, no one ever turned around.

Maybe that’s the beauty of it. That sacred in-between where you feel safe enough to be known—but not observed.

Where you find clarity not through isolation, but through connection that doesn’t ask you to perform.

Go Boldly, But Step by Step

Maybe that window never separated us from the world. Maybe it gave us space to finally see it—to ask better questions, to release who we were, and to step fully into who we’re becoming.

Spain didn’t just show me who I was without survival. It reminded me: I am a woman, a traveler, a creator.

Of a life. A world. A self.

One that keeps evolving, shaped by every place I go and every version of me I meet along the way.